A confession of an Addict

    Yes, you read it right. I'm an addict against my own will. About five or six months ago I encountered a life changing experience that led me to the dark path of addiction. Please don’t judge me before knowing what happened on that particular sunny day; maybe after listening to my story you would sympathize with me and excuse me for the bad person I am.

      On the morning of that specific day I performed my daily morning routine of having breakfast then reading the newspapers to catch a glimpse of what's happening around the world; when an article tucked inside a page dedicated for the latest technology related news caught my mere attention. On a weekly basis this particular news paper introduced to its interested readers websites that might help readers' lives become much easier. The specific article I'm talking about is one that talked about a website that -according to my humble opinion- extraordinary is the least word that can be used to describe it. By now you should have figured out which website I'm referring to; its none other than your Cairo 360.

      The article started by a brief introduction mentioning that the launch of the website was on March, 2010; then it went on talking about the features of the website and how useful it is by reviewing new places, locating them, reviewing movies, providing actual cinema times and most importantly providing detailed information about the daily events happening in our most beloved city Cairo.

      As a very loyal cairene I couldn't be more thrilled. Known as a  person who loves discovering new venues as much as exploring unknown old ones and trying new staff it was no surprise that I was thirsty to see by myself that such a handy link really existed. Each and every month I chased a bunch of  prestigious magazines in hope of unraveling mysteries of  our old city through their reviews; thus, simply telling me that I could do that every single day with a push of a button and without paying a pound was something beyond what I ever dreamed of or imagined. In less than a split of a second after finishing the article I was already in front of my computer's screen typing the web address of every cairene's heaven; and that’s the exact moment my addiction started.

      The moment I pushed the enter key on my keyboard and the link opened my jaw just dropped open. I flipped through its reviews, features, venues and all its sections speechless. This was way more fascinating than I though it would be. The events section particularly was my most favorite; as attending concerts; lectures and carnivals at The Cairo Opera House, Sakkia and other venues could be considered as a hobby of mine. I don’t remember how much time exactly did I spend navigating each and every section; reading each article and regretting my ignorance of this link all these passing months. From this day on checking Cairo 360 every morning became a daily habit to me. I just can't start my day without checking the latest reviews and events. I even searched for Cairo 360 on facebook, twitter and every social network that ever existed; and through twitter I learned about the need of cinema reviewers which for days kept me in confusion not knowing what to write as a sample of my writing when at last I was hit by this idea. This article was wrote in contribution to an idea I'm sure was born little and grew big by days!!!!!!!

Cairo 360 Staff; let me say this loud and clear.

THANK YOU

P.S: That article was written when i was applying to be a reporter for Cairo360 website

Another Taboo : Marrying A Divorcee!!

    Well, here i am again inspired to write by the story of a friend (seems that's the trend these days); Anyways; what i am going to talk about is a crucial subject. A subject that we may encounter a lot nowadays but yet no one likes to discuss it or even mention it. DIVORCE !!!! A simple word that can ruin the lives of many and cause massive devastation and destruction.

    I am writing not to discuss the reasons behind any divorce cause that needs more than just one post, today i am writing about the right of the divorcee to live his/her life. Many divorcees are struggling enough trying to get back to their normal lives not to mention the consequences they have to deal with and the long healing process they have to go through; yet people add to that with the severe sentence that the divorcee has no right to re-marry and even if they do they are not allowed to marry the one they choose. This whole issue of course applies to women more than it applies to men.

    Yes, we do that to them. We sentence them to death, we judge them specially if it was a woman. We start looking at them differently. In our society it is better to stay in the marriage no matter what you have to pay for that than to get the title divorcee. Its some kind of scar that you just can't get rid of. Its a TABOO. Not only the act itself is a taboo but also getting connected to a divorcee is a big fat taboo.
 
    This friend of mine is in love with a beautiful young lady, someone who according to his words is so sweet, cute, kind and funny. The perfect match for him as he sees her but, (Unfortunately there is always a but) the girl has just one flaw. She is a divorcee who was forced to marry at a very young age thus, she was doomed to carry such a title soon enough. The problem is not with my friend as he is deeply in love with her and he couldn't care less about her past. The problem is his parents, the parents who resemble most of our old fashioned parents. The typical Egyptian mother who wants her son to marry a woman who is younger than him, pretty, submissive and most of all she HAS to be a virgin, and in most cases the father agrees with these statements.

    So, whenever my friend tries to open the subject of getting married to his girl he is faced with a storm of objections, swearing and cursing. Its not that he confessed sleeping with someone who is pregnant now and he has to marry her (God forbids) or anything. He just wants to marry the woman of his dreams who also happens to have had a failed relationship before him. What's wrong with that??

    Unfortunately, the parents don't think the way we do; actually some of us think like my friend's parents. We were raised in a society that totally disguise, looks down and judges the female divorcee. Once the divorce occurs its always the woman's fault; stereotyping at its best. As a result , a divorcee has no right to go husband hunting and if she's ever lucky enough to play the game again she's going to play by the rules of her family and the rule of the man who is gentle enough to actually agree to marry her (Complete nonsense)

    The thing is that the divorcee family also plays a big role in degrading her. Most of the families of a divorcee woman start treating her as if she is 15 again. She's not allowed to go out, or to mingle with people and definitely getting to know a new man is a big NO NO !!  They always deal with her as a source of shame to the family and her actions must be monitored so closely (doesn't matter whose fault the divorce was). If she's ever brave enough to ask for her right to settle down again they either totally refuse or in case they approve they'll be the ones who choose the man she has to live the rest of her life with (that of course if she was the one who chose in the first time). In both cases they do this out of fear that she'll bring on the shame again.

    On the other hand, families whose sons wish to marry a divorcee act furiously jut like my friend's family did. They always act as if they are sure the woman was the one behind the divorce; in such a masculine society as ours it can never be the man's fault. She's the one who couldn't keep the prize. She's just too spoiled to be responsible. She must have done something really huge and bad to make that made him divorce her. These are only simple examples of the thoughts that come across the minds of these families; thus they refuse totally even if this meant dooming the life of their son. They'll even take it to a whole new level and start looking for a virgin woman to marry him on the spot.

    What about the men divorcees??? I need not mention that they are more lucky than the women as they will never be blamed by their families and certainly will not be dealt with as a source of shame that has to be monitored. Ofcourse their chance of re-marrying is much better but again some families refuse to let their daughters marry a divorcee; only in fear that he might divorce her (their only concern is that their daughter doesn't bear the title divorcee as well). In case the family approves they just forget (intentionally ofcourse) to mention this ting detail about the groom to their friends and other family members. I happen to know a friend's cousin who is engaged to a divorcee and her family just hide this from everybody.

    Bottom line, when will we stop doing that to people who are just like me and you but maybe their only fault was that they chose wrong ??? When will we stop judging ??? When will we stop sentencing them to death??? From this place i demand that all the families whether those of divorcees or those of people who wish to be connected to a divorcee to have some mercy. Divorce is not the end of the world and it definitely is not something that should automatically make us think bad of the person. It is something that could happen to anyone of us at any time and sometimes it's not anyone's fault even; sometimes its just that the two can't get along (bet7sal fe a7san el3a2elat). I end this in hope that by next time i write about this issue i will be writing a completely different post.

enough said till next time

And I Realized I Have Moved On !!

    A couple of hours ago i was talking to an old friend who happens to be my ex's best friend and he delivered the news i least expected to hear. Mr. ex is in a serious relationship and he is actually getting ready to propose to his girl; by now you all must be pitying me thinking that i was torn but the fact is I WAS NOT !!!

    Amazingly enough, the moment i heard the news the sole idea that hit me was "ibn eleih 3amalha we saba2ny we 5atab abl ana ma at5eteb" :D. A year ago when we had our final closure i vowed to myself that i will be the one to marry first (just a thing that has to do with my ego) but here we are, a year later he is on the right track and i am still as single as ever with not even the slightest hope that this will change in the near future.

    So, the feeling i had was not anger, not remorse and definitely not disappointment. Other than that little feeling of jealousy that i described above i felt nothing but happiness. Yes, i can say it out loud "I AM HAPPY FOR Mr. Ex."; by the end of the day, he is a good man who deserves the best in his life and its not that he should be crying over me all his entire life. We were not meant to be and logically enough each one of us should be moving on and that's what he is doing.

    I am happy for someone i know well, someone i know is good, someone i cherish and cherish what we once had together, someone i shared some of the best memories of my life with, someone who gave me happiness for a period of my life; and thus, as much as he gave me happiness i am happy for him; but more importantly i am happy for myself cause finally,  i discovered that i have really moved on. well, i've already known that some months ago but i didn't realize it was actually true until today. So, i guess our story had its happy ending after all; its just that its not the usual happy ending where the hero and the heroine get married before "The End" phrase appears on screen. We each had his/her own happy ending , we just MOVED ON !!!

    So, Dear Mr. Ex. "From all my heart Congrats. May God grant you a happy and blissful life with your wife to be isA" As simple as that :)

Sincerely;
Ms. Ex

   

The Taboo Of The Taboos : Taking Off The Veil !!

    A couple of days ago I had that intense conversation with one of my male friends. The whole conversation revolved about nothing except the idea of women taking off the veil. My friend has this friend of his who happened to migrate and she took off the veil along with all the Egyptian customs and traditions; he frankly stated that she took it to a whole new level that involved smoking and drinking. The whole time i was trying to defend the girl's side by actually assuming that she might have opted for such a decision as a result of experiencing a trauma in her life and the whole time he insisted that nothing would clarify her doing.

    As a matter of fact, i'm writing here to discuss only the veil thing (As its clear from the title); the other things are not my concern for the moment. So, the first question that comes to our minds when we see a newly de-veiled woman is "WHY ON EARTH??" and we sometimes go even further and start judging her without even trying to understand her motifs. I know that some of us (including me) don't ask any questions so as not to embarrass the woman or as not to make her feel bad but, others just don't ask cause not only do they start judging on the spur of the moment but also they start marking and categorizing  instantly.

    Have we ever asked ourselves why do we make the women feel bad when we talk to them about such a sensitive issue?? Why do they refuse to talk to us when it comes to this? The answer is simple; because instead of really understanding we attack them using hurtful words not to mention the long religious lectures of the heaven and fire they are in no need of hearing.

    Have we ever stopped to think seriously about the reasons behind women taking such a step ??? Have we ever tried understanding?? I know that a man cannot understand such an issue but what i don't understand is a woman who doesn't though she might have been in her place; please don't jump and say "i would never be in her place" cause simply you can never know and you are not sure of that !!

    I have been veiled for almost two years now and i can say it was one of the hardest decisions i've taken in my life and probably it will turn out to be the hardest ever.  Also i can claim that i do understand why would someone think of taking it off, not that i am in favour of it but as a human being in general and a woman in specific i do realize that cracking down is much more simple than we think.

    So, what do i understand that others don't ??? First of all, i do realize that God has created us weak by nature; weak when it comes to enjoying the pleasures of life which most of  have been tabooed by Him to put us under the test. I do know that one of the pleasures of life is actually showing off your beauty and nothing can top topping that with a perfect hairdo (That goes for the females only of course, guys have other issues to fight against). Why do you think it took me 26 whole years to take such a step ??? Definitely cause i was in love with my looks and with the way guys used to look at me as a pretty, sexy woman. And i have to be frank, two years have past and i still have my ups and downs. At first i thought i was much prettier and even more elegant with the veil but that didn't last for long. I keep facing times when i see myself as ugly and not as good looking as i used to be; i have my moments of weaknesses and each and every time the only thing that stands between me and this is "PEER INFLUENCE"

    Peer influence is one of the major reasons why would a woman go on or just give up and take off the sacred piece of cloth. As the saying goes "Birds with the same feather flock together". So, when a woman surprises you with a new look most probably it will turn out that her friends are not veiled. Another reason behind such a drive is sometimes the fact that when she took the decision in the first place she was under an exterior influence; she was either not that convinced or just did it because all women around her did (The Amr Khaled Phenomenal).

    A popular reason is actually getting bored, just as i mentioned above she starts feeling she looks ugly, doesn't feel attractive anymore and no matter how many new looks she tries and how many new scarves she buys (that's the trick known amongst us when we feel this way) nothing tends to change. The awful truth is that if this phase stays for long it starts affecting other regular religious rituals like praying for instance; A woman who experiences a long phase of boredom may reach a point where she starts seizing praying ; she feels she's forced to keep wearing the veil in fear of the people's reactions yet she doesn't want to and that results in less rituals. When such a chaotic phase is reached the woman is lost and has one of two choices: either she takes it off so that she gets rid of the boredom and gets back on track or remains as she is in complete loss. Mostly she favours the first choice which i see as wise by the way.


    The final reason which was my assumption in the case of my friend's friend is the life trauma. As emotional creatures by nature some of us women can't take much stress and can't deal with more than one trauma at once; being it a broken heart, the loss of a dear family member, an illness she suffers or some other reason. In  such case the woman starts being angry at life, she starts thinking that all this happened to her though she is a good person who obeys her God; she starts going into the phase of denial. The phase in which she starts thinking "If i am gonna be punished anyways then i'd better enjoy the pleasures of life". I know that shows so much weakness and how much her faith was fragile from the beginning but i'm not here to judge i'm just here to analyze.

    As a bottom line, the next time you encounter a de-veiled woman DO NOT JUDGE. If she is close enough try talking to her, if she's not then stop looking at her as if she is some kind of bitch (Actually, yeah they can tell what you think from the look in your eyes). If you are a woman better take care cause you might be in her place any time.

enough said till next time

يا اسرائيل : بمناسبة اللى بيحصل اليومين دول

يا اسرائيل
انا مش حكومه و مش نظام
و منايش لسان حافظ كلام
و منايش رئيس ولا نيش ملك حواليه بوليس يضرب سلام
يا اسرائيل
انا مش حكومه و مش نظام
و منايش لسان حافظ كلام
و منايش رئيس ولا نيش ملك حواليه بوليس يضرب سلام
انا كلمه يمكن عمرها عمر البشر بعام بعام
يا اسرائيل انا ابنى مات لما مات معنى السلام
و اترمى وسط الحطام
لما صابه سهم غادر سهم مفلوت الزمام
يا اسرائيل مبقؤلش ابدا ده حرام
لاكن بقؤل ان اللى مات صاحى فى مكانه
فى بيت لحم فى الخليل فى لبنان
واقف هناك لو تسمعوه تسمعوه بيقؤل محال
بيقؤل محال هتهون علينا خضره او بحر او رمال
بيقؤل محال هتهون علينا خضره او بحر او رمال
عارفه قبلا ابقى مين
ابقى كلمه كل عصر
اسمى ايه و بكل فخر
اسمى اعظم اسم
اسمــــــــــــــــــــــــــــــى
اسمى

مصر 

In a couple of hours !!!

Actually, in less than two hours i will be turning 28 isA. 

I feel the clock ticking and the minutes are so slow.

I'm waiting for the clock to read 12:00 a.m.

I wonder who will be the first to call???

I started getting birthday wishes starting yesterday already but it's always that first call at 12:00 that makes the heart leaps.

I wonder who will remember and who will forget?

The people who will remember, will they be the same as last year?? or maybe more or even less??

I cancelled the call waiting feature already like i usually do on that day every year so that i dont have to call back people.

Who will be the first to send a message??

I have less than two hours to know the answers and yet i feel its two years cause always the thing you are waiting for takes alot of time to come.

I have been waiting for this day for a year now and now i can wait no more.

Whatever the answers to these questions will be

Whatever will happen in less than a couple of hours

There's only one thing i am sure of

I am gonna be the happiest and i am gonna enjoy

I am gonna be grateful and blessed

In less than a couple of hours a year will be added to my age

and i am gonna be thankful and celebrate that

100 Things I Appreciate About Life !!!

    A week ago i was challenged by a friend to write a list of  100 things i appreciate about life in a deadline of 48 hours. When he first told me that i thought "well, i have a couple of things in my mind but i will never be able to make it to the 100th thing". So, i just went to sleep deciding to start working on it in the morning and in the morning i put down my lap top infront of me, opened a blank word document and started writing and before i knew it and before an hour has passed i was done and yet i could write more if i wanted to. I was so happy i did it and i was even happier to realize how many things i  should be grateful for; it made me feel how much i am blessed.

    After showing it to my friend he suggested that i share it on my blog but i refused claiming it was too personal and some what ridiculous to share in public but, today i don't know why i suddenly decided to share it with people in hope that maybe it would inspire someone. So, here you go, a list of 100 things i appreciate about my life without any editing : ENJOY !!

    Note: Its not ordered according to importance, its written in the same chaotic order it hit my mind with.

1. Being a Muslim
2. Being an Egyptian
3. Having such a loving family
4. Having a big number of friends who consider me close
5. Having the car i always wanted
6. Having the talent of writing
7. Being an Engineer
8. Doing my MBA

9. Knowing how to read and write

10. Having two homes I can stay in any of them any time

11. Traveling to Turkey last year (Fel safar saba3 fawayed fe3lan)

12. Being loved once by the most attractive Taurus guy i've ever met

13. Being a synchronized swimmer for 3 years

14. People constantly telling me that I am attractive

15. Having my own room with my own laptop, AC and Satellite Dish

16. Having a BB that connects me to a hell number of my friends (Actually it re-connected me to a number of old friends)

17. Spending some of the best days of my life at college and knowing some of the best people

18. Being able to do some extracurricular activities while I was at college

19. Being Head of Marketing at Youth Committee of Shooting Club right now specially with the team I have

20. Having a cousin who always guided me in my life

21. Having a good shaped figure

22. Being able to take the decision of getting veiled at the age of 26

23. Taking tajweed lessons

24. Knowing how to swim perfectly 

25. People considering me fashionable

26. Being able to re-connect with old friends during and after the revolts

27. Witnessing and actually being part of the Egyptian revolts

28. Being Ahalweya

29. Being a Nasserist

30. Having the cutest cat ever

31. Being able to see the beauty of the world God created when others cant

32. Having one hell of a shoe collection as I love shoes so much

33. Spending two of the best months in my life with someone i really care about and cherish alot 

34. Being able to listen to and appreciate music

35. Having a wide collection of stamps

36. Being able to buy books and not borrow them

37. Being able to find food to eat daily

38. Being one of the top students back at school

39. Being part of the school chorus each annual school party

40. Knowing four languages

41. Watching all HP movies in theaters

42. Owning LOTR trilogy books and DVDs

43. Having a club membership that enables me to practice any kind of sports any time

44. Being able to live lavishly and exquisitely as any leo should

45. Being a tom boy sometimes

46. Being loved by a Romanian guy at some point in my life

47. Being able to maintain relationships with most of my exes after the break up

48. People keep coming back to me for advices even those who are just acquaintances

49. People not affording not to be my friends so they always come back after staying away for a while and knowing my true value as a friend

50. The way my bro tries to make it up for me when he feels he’s done me wrong

51. My ability to make people feel guilty

52. Being white coloured with hazel nut eyes (no offense to anyone who is not white i just like the fact that i am)

53. My parents forcing me to wear braces when I was a young kid

54. Being the link between all my cousins

55. Having leadership skills

56. Being able to eat the sugary stuff I love the most without having to worry about diabetes

57. Knowing how to ride bicycles

58. Having what can be considered a good amount of knowledge so that when I sit with people I am able to engage in conversations

59. Turning 28 next week isA

60. Being able to walk and run

61. Having friends who look up to me  

62. Being respected by anyone I know

63. Being able to afford buying medicine when I am sick

64. Being able to wear brand names

65. Being able to help the needy

66. One Ramadan with a help of one friend we single handedly prepared three waves of shonat Ramadan, eftar sa2em once, keswet 3eed and I finished reciting  the Quran 3 times

67. My family can afford traveling to alex the city I love the most

68. Having a soft bed with medical pillows to sleep on

69. Learning how to drive early enough and being a good driver

70. When I had problems at work I could resign without having to worry about expenses

71. Being a woman specially when it comes to the part where guys pamper us

72. Spending 7 years with my grandmum as a child

73. My mum sewing me winter clothes when I was at school

74. Going to all Disney shows on ice that were held in Egypt

75. Going to the book fair annually

76. Always having a shoulder to cry on in hard times

77. Walking in the rain

78. Going to the opera

79. Wearing coats, scarves and gloves in winter. I love winter clothes

80. Cruising the streets of Cairo when im down

81. Taking falouka down The Nile bank on a breezy summer night

82. Eating ice cream in winter

83. Visiting old Cairo and drinking 3enab fel fishawy

84. Watching Cairokee performing live

85. Crying without ever thinking this is weakness

86. Befriending you now after all those years ( I meant my friend who challenged me to do this)

87. Owning the whole collection of Shakespeare's works written in old English

88. Having Alexandrian origin raining through my veins

89. Appearing on several TV shows

90. My name appearing in a news paper after the success of the carnival we held at the club

91. Being raised in a cinematographic family

92. Being one of the youth the whole world was talking about cleaning Tahrir Square

93. Surviving 2 major car accidents

94. Never going under the scalpel

95. I never drink any caffeinated drink

96. Used to drink a full cup of buffalo milk every day morning till high school

97. Being daddy’s spoiled gurl

98. Knowing I have good karma

99. Have a warm bed in winter while others don’t

100. Completing this list

     Finally, special dedication to my friends and family whom some of which were mentioned explicitly in this post (You know yourselves) and even those who were not mentioned i dedicate that to you all as a Thank You for being part of my life which shaped me to become the person i am now. Special thanks go to Shady Sadat, the one who talked me into doing this. Thank You big time.

    Moral of the story?? when you are down thinking that life has taken so much away from you better think of the things it has actually given you; i bet you'll feel much better :)

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